A Bit of Messed Priorities
by OMJessie
Summary: Harry and the gang learn that the teachers don't just eat, sleep, teach and dock points, they have personal lives as well! 5th year. SnapeTrelawney, ABMM and who knows what else! My first fanfic, tell me what you think!... please!
1. Snape's Engagement

Disclaimer I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. If I did do you think I would be posting on Now that that's out of the way.. On with the story!

A bit of messed up priorities

Chapter One

Our story starts in the middle of the summer before the first term in Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts. Snape casually strolls up to Trelawney office with a single red rose held behind his back. He scrambles up her ladder and quietly opens the trapped door (although it emits a incredibly loud screech). He pulls himself up to his full height, straitening his dress robes as he does so.

"Oh, SEVERUS," a misty voice says from behind him. He jumped, obviously realizing that Trelawney had seen the single gorgeous red rose. His face turned the pink color of a small piglet on a sunny day as he turned around gently presenting the rose to his love.

"Sybil, my beautiful love." said Snape in a wistful voice.

"I have been kept up playing on my Chemistry set for hours making a potion for that stupid Remus Lupin. I have longed to see you all day since we gazed passionately at each other at breakfast in your office."

"Oh, Severus," she said in a quiet whisper and edged closer to him.

"Syb.." and he held her and pulled her tight embracing her in a horrible kiss (although she had not known any better because of her lack of relationships, Snape was actually her first boyfriend).

"Snookyputins.." he said releasing her.

"My suger-covered-Snapey-poo," she said with tears in her eyes.

"Oh how I love thee," Snape said. "my dear Sybil," he said bending down on one knee.

"it was ten years ago to this date that we first gazed passionately into each others eyes and kissed by the lake,"

"Sev.."

"Sybil, I..I.. I.. Will you marry me???"

" Oh, my-Chocolate-Cherry-dumpling, yes, yeeesssssssss!"

Severus's face broke into a huge smile and reviled a lovely three-karat diamond heart ring.

"O, snookey-putoms…" Sybil gasped, and she fell into his arms, barely keeping from blacking out in shock of happiness. And they kissed passionately.

"Uh, profess.." Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood in the doorway with a disgusted look on their face as if they had Hippogriff poop under their nose.

"POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" A slimy, yet most embarrassed yell shrieked from Snape's mouth, which made you almost question if his voice had changed yet. "OUT, OUT!!!!!"

As Harry, Ron, and Hermione left the room, they glimpsed a horrifying romantic kiss as Snape lifted Trelawney up in his arms.

"Bloody Hell!" was the only two comprehensive words that could be taken from the three teenagers as they were walking down the staircase. By the time they had reached the bottom all of them had regained some composure. "I think I have been scared for my bloody life!" said Ron.

"Oh Ron we shouldn't have been there! I mean, seriously that's none of our business!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Come one we need to get to get out of here before Snape comes back." Ron looked disgusted at the idea.

"Come back, what the hell do you mean '_come back_' Hermione.

" Lets worry about that later, I just don't want to be around when _they_ come down." Shivered Harry.

While walking down the stairs Hermione tried to talk to them about what they had seen, although it was futile.

"Fine, come on we'll talk about what we saw later."

"Yes Hermione, you can be Ron and My therapist, because god knows I'm gonna need one now that I've seen my two _favorite _teachers _sucking face_. And with that, they continued to walk down the stairs until…


	2. New passageways

Disclaimer: See chapter one

Chapter Two

Last chapter"Yes Hermione, you can be Ron and My therapist, because god knows I'm gonna need one now that I've seen my two _favorite _teachers _sucking face_. And with that, they continued to walk down the stairs until…

… Until Ron tripped and fell… on Hermione. "RON, GET OFF YOU IDIOT!"

"Sorry, wait Hermione what did you hit?" Harry rolled his eyes.

"The wall you sod."

"No Harry, there is a door."

Sure enough, the castle wall seemed to have a groove in it and with a slight push from Ron it reviled a passageway.

"Come on we have to go meet Moony and Padfoot, I can't wait to see their faces when they hear this!"

And with that Harry Potter and Ron Weasley began to plot ways to inform the marauders of this bit of 'enlightening information' as Harry put it, until they were in the great hall.

"… And then we tell them what we saw." Harry told Ron who was laughing.

"Oh Harry you can't be serious."

"Of course he isn't Sirius, I am!"

A man with black hair and blue eyes said jovially.

"Oh god Sirius, can't you lay that down to rest like the other things in our school days?"

"No Remus, I can't, because the _snivillus _is still among the living."

"Well then, why don't we have a vampire bite him, then he _wont_ be among the living."

"Speaking of Snape," Harry stated casually,

"him and his '_snookyputins'_ are getti-"

"who the hell is this '_snookyputins_' my dear godson?"

" I was getting to that Sirius, now as I was saying him and his _'snookyputins'_ as in our _wonderful_ divination teacher, Prof. Trelawney are getting..."

and here Harry paused for dramatic effect, (and was squirted with water from Remus)

"… _married_." 

"What!"

both men yelled

"yep, they even have pet names for each other." Confided Ron.

"Wait, what kind of names?"

asked a bewildered Sirius.

"More importantly why are you prying into your teachers lives?" asked Remus.

"Because Remus" said both boys, " we have nothing better to do."

" Do you to know of any passage ways that open from the base of North Tower?" asked Hermione who had finally entered the conversation.

"Hmmm and why would you want that highly confidential information Hermione? Is there something you want to tell us?"

Sirius asked with wiggling eyebrows.

"Yes Sirius, Ron fell on me and I hit the wall then a door in the wall opened." She said irritably.

"RON! You don't do things like that with the possibility of people seeing!" "Well Sirius, if I remember correctly, that never stopped you."

"Shhhh, Remus, they don't need to know that!"

" Alright, I confess, it was my intention to fall on Hermione, knock her down, and then jump at her in a desperate act of attention, in which I am not getting at home!" Ron sighed dramatically, putting his hand up to his forehead as if fainting.

" I knew you had a thing for her mate, 'bout time you came out of the closet." Harry said, sarcastically.

"Now, about this passage way, lets go and investigate." Sirius said as he bounded out of the hall.

"Come on," Remus said tiredly, "before we lose him."

As they neared the place where the door was, they heard voices moving their way,

"Albie, what about our vacation in Aruba?" Whined a woman in a pink sundress with black hair that fell to her hips.

"My Darling pussy cat, don't sink your claws into me, if anything, be angry at Tom for not just dying when that curse bounded off of Harry." Said a man about 6'4, wearing a bright purple robe and white beard and half mooned spectacles.

"B-b-but Albieeee…."

"No, darling, we can't go to Aruba for Christmas, we have to be closer. Maybe Paris, but not Aruba, Sorry babe." At Minerva's pout, Albus said,

"come, let's go to my office and talk about this more privately." And so the Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress took a left and were completely oblivious that five other people overheard their conversation.

"Albie? That's scary as hell!"

"I know Ron, and I have a meeting with him tomorrow! How am I going to concentrate on what he's saying if all I can think on is that those two were going to Aruba _together_ and now they're going to _Paris_ together! WHAT THE HELL DID I MISS?" Yelled a frantic Harry.

"I don't know _POTTER_ all I know is that you will have detention for every last day you're here at Hogwarts' said a new voice. All five of them turned to find…


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: See Chapter one

Chapter Three

Previously:

"I don't know _POTTER_ all I know is that you will have detention for every last day you're here at Hogwarts' said a new voice. All five of them turned to find…

… Prof. Snape and his fiancé Snookieputins- er Trelawney, glowering at him, Ron, Hermione, Remus, and Sirius.

" Short time, too much seeing Sybil's suger-covered-Snapey-poo (Snape), but while we're here, I might as well congratulate you Snape, for making such a _fine_ catch, I hope you are blessed with all the love I had for my mother, and my you have more children then Molly and Arthur." Said Sirius with a straight face.

"Thank you Sirius, you know I read about you in the paper a few weeks ago, of coarse I had already seen it in the orb, but still the way that Ms. Skeeter described your wrongful imprisonment after that Pettigrew boy was found was quite shocking, it is too bad that although I have the inner eye, it is not my place to do anything, only fate has that power…Oh yes, you might want to be careful this week, I saw the most terrible thing happen to you in the orb, you fell through some black piece of cloth and died." And turning to Harry, Sybil said in her usual misty voice,

"and dear boy, your fate is still marked by _The Grim _so you might want to put your things in order…" she said looking sympathetically at Harry.

"Come Severus, I want to see what else you have been doing in that chemistry lab of yours." And with that, she pulled Snape down towards the dungeons before he could say anything to the marauders and the trio.

Now sitting back in the common room, the five people sat in front of the fire, drinking butterbeer, or the case of the adults- Firewhisky.

"So, have all of you done your homework?" asked Remus after taking a swig of his drink.

"Amazingly, yes." Said Ron who was interrupted by a snort from Harry, "All because of Hermione, you should give all the credit to her."

"Going on… do all of you want to go check out that secret passage way now?" asked Hermione.

"Yes Hermione, we can go check out the bloody passage way now." Said Ron, chugging the rest of his butterbeer while Harry got his invisibility cloak, with the excuse of "just in case". And with that, they walked out of the portrait hole and made their way to North Tower.

"Ok now how did you get in the first time?" asked Remus.

"Well" Sirius butted in," Ron tried to jump Hermione, soooo-"

"I didn't! I just tripped!" " Fine have it your way."

"Why don't you show us where the door was." Sighed Remus.

" It was right here." Said Harry, pointing to a spot just left of a portrait of nuns doing the Mamba.

" Right there?" asked Sirius, looking skeptical.

"Yes" said Hermione,

"I hit the portrait and the door opened."

"Well why didn't you say you hit the portrait?" said Sirius exasperatedly. "Because Sirius, you asked Harry and Ron. They don't notice anything." She said, as if stating the obvious.

"Oi! Hermione we aren't that stupid!" Yelled the boys.

"That remains to be seen," said Hermione.

"Alright already!" whispered Remus,

"lets not argue, Ron push the portrait." As Ron pushed the portrait and the door slid open they saw two people about to open the door themselves, Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall.

* * *

I think that's a good place to stop for now! So what do you think so far? Is it good, bad, really bad? I need some opinions! And possibly a beta reader… so hit the button on the bottom of the screen and give me some feed back 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: See Chapter one

Previously in Chapter three: As Ron pushed the portrait and the door slid open they saw two people about to open the door themselves, Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall.

Chapter Four

The Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress blinked. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Remus and Sirius blinked back at them.

"Ah Minerva, it seems that we have some explaining to do, Darling."

" Oh God, My Virgin ears!"

"Sirius, you weren't aloud to say that past the age of thirteen, after I caught you in the Hufflepuff girls dormitory with the Lawrence twins." Said McGonagall exasperatedly "Twins!"

"Yes children, twins. What Minnie! Honesty is the best policy!"

" Shut up Albus, you overgrown child! Go eat more of you lemon drops!"

"Yes love."

"Ew! I don't want to hear stuff like that! Sirius we'll talk later about your escapades... While I'm at it, who the Hell are the Lawrence twins?"

"Yes Harry, and the Lawrence twins are- "

"LATER HARRY! Now," said Hermione in a business like fashion, " you better start explaining or you will be subject to many a rumor when school starts back up. Well, not that you won't any way, the Ravenclaw's are _always_ suspicious of a conspiracy their teachers. They think Prof. Snape," and here, Harry and Ron inserted,'suger-covered-Snapey-poo'- " is a Vampire, Prof. Flitwick is a Dark Lord, waiting for the fall of Voldemort, to take over and kill all the tall people in the world, because he's shrinking from all the coffee he drinks, that the only reason Trelawney is still teaching is because you're getting some, and that the DADA teachers only last one year because they all get poisoned by you and your Lemon Drops. Explain or I'll confirm their suspicions!"

She said threateningly

"Alright, the Snape idea I can understand, but FILIUS! He wouldn't hurt a fly… just maybe some coffee beans… and SYBIL? MERLIN NOO! As for the DADA teacher, the only person to eat my Lemon Drops was Minerva, and she obviously isn't poisoned!"

"Well, no one knows that except us seven, now do they." She said with a bookwormish smirk.

" Miss Granger! Since when have you been so mischievous?" Minerva said, her eyebrow raised.

"Yes 'Mione, because you should let this side show more often!"

" Well Prof. I have always been this way, and Ron, no."

"Access Denied!"

" SHUT UP HARRY!" said every one in the corridor.

"Come, let's go up to my office and talk instead of freezing in this corridor."

And with that they all followed Albus to his office, bickering of unimportant things.

"Alright, Lemon Drop any one?"

"… Yes Albus I'll have one, thank you."

"Your welcome Minerva."

"See they aren't poisoned!"

"Shut up Ron, just wait, in like one hour, she'll keel over like a dead rat!"

"SIRIUS BLACK DON'T YOU _DARE_ TALK ABOUT _MY _HEADMISTRESS LIKE THAT IN MY PRESANTS!"

"He was pointing out how unlikely that would be, Albus, not hoping that it would happen."

"Prof. Don't ogle at Remus like that, he didn't do anything!' yelled Harry.

" Alright, down to business, what do you want to know?"

"Within reason." Added Minerva quickly.

"Yes, within reason." Albus said gazing at the five other people besides himself and Minerva.

"Well, first off," Harry said, having the most courage in the group," are you two married or…"

"Yes, we have been married for forty-eight yea-"

"Forty-nine years Albus"

Yes, forty-eight or forty-nine years."

Minerva rolled her eyes at this.

"How did come to be married?" asked Remus.

" Hmm well it all started the summer before I started my Headmaster duties, I was on vacation in Columbia, forty-eight yea-"

"Forty-_nine."_

"Yes, forty-eight or forty-nine years ago."

_**Flashback forty-eight or forty-nine years ago… **_

_The end of the Dark Lord Grindalwald had left many people to celebrate, so imagine the surprise when she, Minerva McGonagall walked into a Columbian Hotel with her swim wear on and her towel slung around her shoulder when she saw a man at the front desk checking in, Albus Dumbledore, clad in his neon purple swim trunks with blue stars and a red tank top, with sun block on his nose was gathering his key and going up to his room._

_"Albus! I didn't know you were going to vacation here!"_

_"Ha ha! Minerva! Such a small world, and to find you here, of all places. How is the sun outside? I was thinking of going out for a tan later this after noon but I don't know if I'll stand a chance, or burn like one of Aberforth's turkey dinners."_

_"Well Albus, it all depends, as you are right now, yes, you will fry, become red, and peel, but then, you will tan quite nicely."_

_She said as she discreetly admired his Physique. Albus noticing this said nothing of it, instead he said,_

_"Pity, I wanted to not have to deal with all of the peeling, ah well, if it only happens once…"_

_He said, taking in how tan she was, even though her University classes in transfiguration had only let out a mere three days ago. He took in all of her beauty in a discreet way, well discreet for a man anyway. She of course always had sharp eyes, caught this and blushed slightly._

_"Well Minerva, would you like to go tan together in this wonderful weather?"_

_"Alright Albus I know this one spot where the sun is really bright but it doesn't hurt your eyes." Minerva said with a smile._

_"That sounds delightful! May I go and put my things in my room before you show me to this spot of yours?" Albus asked politely._

_"Of course Albus, why don't I just wait here and you can go up and leave your things in your room and come back here, then we'll go." She said brightly._

_"Alright just one minute!" he said walking quickly up the stairs to his room._

_As soon as he was gone Minerva pulled out a silver compact that held all of the makeup she was wearing, which was little, only some light gloss and eyeliner, which had coincidently come off in her swim earlier that morning, she looked at herself with a sharp eye, catching that she needed more lip gloss on her bottom lip. After applying it, she quickly put all of her things back into her beach bag just a Albus walked down the stairs with his towel, a neon blue one with purple stars._

_'Nice towel Albus" she said exasperatedly_

_"Thank you Minerva, would you care for a lemon drop?"_

It was here that Sirius cut in with

"YOU WERE GIVING OUT LEMON DROP BACK THEN! JUST HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN OFF YOU ROCKER ALBUS!"

"Shut up Sirius! I was listening!"

_"Why yes Albus, thank you," she said, popping the delectable treat into her mouth._

_"Come on you," She said, dragging him outside into the sun and towards an empty spot on the beach._

_"And it all started from there."_

Minerva said smiling from the memory. Now, if I'm not mistaken, you all should be in bed. Off with you all!" McGonagall said, flailing her arms in their general direction.

"Alright Prof. We'll go. Sirius! What is this business with these Lawrence Twins!" Harry asked walking down the stairs with the group.

"Well Harry," Sirius said "there were these two girls and they were…" and with that the sound died down and the Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress continued to talk about the old times.

* * *

I know I haven't updated in a while, school has been really trying and yeah, so. 

Ok, I would like to thank every one who has reviewed, (Kyra Goddess, gahh Minerva, ImSoSMacKED, and Miss Meryl) thank you and I'm running out of ideas, sad I know! Well there wasn't really a plot any way so that could be the problem right there… So if you have any plot ideas, I would like, LOVE YOU ummm yeah, so did any one catch the _slight_ reference to Mr. and Mrs. Smith? And yes I made them at the beach, I don't care if there isn't a beach in Columbia, there is now! He he


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: See chapter one

Previously in chapter Four: **_"Well Harry," Sirius said "there were these two girls and they were…" and with that the sound died down and the Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress continued to talk about the old times._**

Chapter Five

(Next day in Albus' office)

Like last night, Albus, Minerva, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Remus and Sirius were all sitting in Albus' office, but this time they had two new additions, Sybil and Severus, who were sitting on a couch in the corner, trying to digest this new information about their employer and co-worker… well, Severus was, Sybil, upon hearing the news, said that she had known all along, having seen it in the orb only weeks after starting her job, which caused Minerva to roll her eyes all through the explanation.

" Well, I think that sums up the explanations from last night, don't you think my dear?" said a bouncing Albus; while sucking on a lemon drop. Minerva, on the other hand, was nursing a fifth cup of coffee, much to the shock of the occupants of the room, saying

"Tea is soothing, coffee is intense; and soothing does nothing to wake me up, so stop staring! And Albus, it was forty**_-nine _**years ago!"

And with that, she took a rather large gulp of coffee and let Albus comprehend what she just said.

"Well as riveting this all is, I do have a few questions for you two, if you are done with the explanations."

Said a quirked eye browed Severus, while putting an arm around Sybil, who was gazing at her engagement ring lovingly.

"Well, fire away my boy!" exclaimed Albus in a jovial voice.

" First off, Just for personal reference of course, but, Minerva, where is that spot by the beach that you can't get your eyes burned out of your head while sun tanning?"

"Third palm tree to the left of the lemon drop vender, the usual palm tree."

Turning to Albus, Severus asked,

"Is this how she normally talks?"

"Yes."

"And Second…. What happened after she showed you said spot?"

" Do you just want us to continue with the story?"

"If you feel the need to."

"That's just Severus' way of saying that he wants story time, without making it seem like he's gone soft"

Sirius said to Harry; in a staged whisper. Severus glared at Sirius and huffed but said nothing; instead he looked at Albus and Minerva expectedly.

"Alright" Minerva cut off before anyone got killed,

"Albus why don't you go on with the story?"

"Quite right Minnie darli-"

"I think I speak for everyone in this room in saying PLEASE DON'T TALK LIKE THAT WHILE WE'RE HERE! THANK YOU!" Severus yelled, looking positively green.

"I second that motion" Harry raised his hand as if agreeing to a new law in parliament.

"Harry, put your goddamn hand down!"

"Yes Sirius."

"May I continue now?"

At the silence Albus popped a lemon drop into his mouth, thinking they were really quite good…

Now, back to the story…

**_Flashback forty-NINE years ago, on some beach in Columbia_**

"_**Minerva, how far is this Legendary spot from here?" asked a panting Albus, all the while admiring the way Minerva's bathing suit clung to her, just when she turned around rolling her eyes, saying **_

"_**We're nearly there Albus, you must really be out of shape to be tired already!"**_

"_**Well, I did take some time off after taking out that Grizzly old idiot, Grindalwald, I guess I should get back into shape before the new school year; wouldn't want all of the younglings getting the better of me now would I!"**_

_**That being said, they continued their walk to a spot just to the left of a lemon drop vender…  
**_

_**"Ha ha! I think I might just like this spot!" cried Albus, buying a rather large bag of lemon drops and popping one into his mouth before offering the bag to Minerva, who took one; then after eating it said, **_

"_**You know Albus, all of that sugar can't possibly be good for you."**_

"_**Ah, Minerva, as the saying goes, 'life is short, live it to the fullest!"**_

_**With a roll of her eyes she walked past three palm trees to the left of the lemon drop vender, and set down her towel in the place she occupied earlier that morning. With that she pulled out her wand. **_

"_**Minerva, what do you need your wand for?"**_

"_**Albus, while there is no way to prevent you from turning into a lobster, I am already tan, and therefore I can use a spell that a roommate from Hogwarts taught me." That being said, she waved her wand around and said, **_

"_**Menivocho, Fresoleio!" **_

"_**Handy spell you have there!" Albus said dryly, "How long do you think it will take me to turn red?"**_

"_**It's hard to say… an hour, two at the most, before you start resembling a lobster. Oh if only I had my camera on me. Hee Hee!" **_

"_**Moving on… what room are you staying in the hotel?"**_

" _**Um" said Minerva, trying to remember her room number, while noticing that Albus seemed to be 'discreetly,' (or what he would call discreetly, she would call it openly staring at her when he thought she wasn't looking) checking her out, much to her shock. **_

"_**Five-hundred-thirty-four A"**_

"_**What a small world it is! I just so happen to be in room Five-hundred-thirty-four B!"**_

"_**Yes it is a small world! Now come along Albus, you might as well lie down and start tanning; the sooner you get red the sooner it can peel off and be brown."**_

"_**Yes Minerva" Albus said as he sat down on his towel and closed his eyes. And then there was silence, until Minerva said,**_

"_**Well Albus, we've been out here three hours-" **_

"_**THREE HOURS?" **_

"_**Yes Albus, I think it's time to go in, and you do in fact look like a well cooked lobster."**_

"_**Thank you Minerva, and your sympathy for my cause is overwhelming." **_

"_**Any time Albus! Now lets get back, looks like you could use an oatmeal bath."**_

"_**My shoulders are starting to itch…"**_

"_**Well let's get back then…"**_

_**End flashback**_

"And then we came back and decided to have dinner, after I took that oatmeal bath that Minnie here, suggested." Albus said, gesturing to the headmistress.

"You were SO wupped! I can't even BELIEVE it! You weren't even married yet and you still did everything she said!"

"Sirius, sometimes it's better to just do as your told and not to ask questions." Minerva said, with a feral smile on her face.

"He was still wupped!"

"I am right here m'boy!"

"Are we going to hear more about this tomorrow?" asked Severus.

"No, not tomorrow, Minerva and I have to go to the Ministry tomorrow to talk to Minister Fudge, he seems to think I don't have a Defense against the Dark Arts teacher… quite silly if you ask me!" Albus chuckled

"So you found one then? Who?" Asked Minerva.

"Why Sirius and Remus! Obviously!" Turning to them he said " And I won't take no for and answer Remus so don't even try! I want you both around for various things and I know that both of you want to be closer to Harry so, here is your opportunity; as long as you act somewhat like adults. Yes Sirius, you must start to act you age. Sorry to disappoint you."

"But, But, But…"

"How the Hell are you going to get Fudge to let you hire a werewolf AND an ex- convict?

"The same way I always get Fudge to do what I want, Severus, threaten him with an investigation of all of his dealings and laws signed by or through him. He doesn't want anyone to know that half of the people that he let off of prison charges are some of the worst Death Eaters of Voldemort's inner circle."

"Wow Albus you have some very Slitherin attributes, you know that right?"

"Yes Harry, I know, but if I didn't, I wouldn't have such a great sense of humor!"

"Well Harry, I didn't get to tell you about the Lawrence twins last night," at this both Harry and Ron both turned to glare at Remus,

"What it was late, you all needed to go to sleep!"

"So how about tomorrow, I tell you about Isabella and Amelia?"

"Oh God!" moaned Remus and oddly enough, Severus who said,

"Black, must you be filling his head with your disgusting nighttime escapades?"

And on went their bickering until everyone got up and left for lunch, and to their other engagements.

* * *

AUTHOR NOTE: 

Thank you all of you who reviewed, I try to write back when I get them so, don't feel as if you are just writing them down and I never read them because I do, and it's so nice to get feed back from all of you so thank you to all of you who took or will take the time to review! The Next Chapter will be about the Lawrence twins, unless there is widespread disapproval from the readers. Sorry for the long delay, but I just couldn't figure out what to write, so when I get the reviews I just started and five pages and two hours later... Ok enough of my ramblings… Review and tell me what you thought. Oh and Just so you know, the spell is completely made up, it is supposed to stop you from turning red in the sun. The correct way to say it is: MEN- i -v-OCHO frE-sOl-eeO


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!

Previously in chapter five (because I'm sure you forgot.):

_**"Well Harry, I didn't get to tell you about the Lawrence twins last night," at this both Harry and Ron both turned to glare at Remus,**_

_**"What it was late, you all needed to go to sleep!"**_

_**"So how about tomorrow, I tell you about Isabella and Amelia?"**_

_**"Oh God!" moaned Remus and oddly enough, Severus who said,**_

_**"Black, must you be filling his head with your disgusting nighttime escapades?"**_

_**And on went their bickering until everyone got up and left for lunch, and to their other engagements.**_

Chapter six:

After dinner, and an involved discussion between Harry and Ron about who would win The World Cup; the Canons or the Windborne Wasps (guess who said the Canons) Sirius, Remus, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and surprisingly, Severus and Sybil were all gathered comfortably in the Gryffindor common room, and when I say comfortably, I mean that everyone but Severus was lounging on a couch or in an armchair, while Severus was openly cringing at the huge display of Scarlet and Gold.

"So, you want to hear about 'The Lawrence Twins' do you?"

"No Sirius, we wanted to hear about you expedition to the London Zoo… of course we want to hear about the Lawrence twins!"

"Geez Harry no need to be testy."

"Trust me Potter, once you hear this, you will never sleep again, take it for someone that hasn't slept since their nighttime escapades in the late seventies," said Severus, shuddering while clinging to Sybil.

"Well, Then why are you here Severus, and not down in the dungeons with your _fiancé _doing whatever it is you do, certainly not each other."

"I'll have you-"

"Ew, ew, ew! I don't to know what the Hell you teachers do in your spare time! And no Sirius, you don't count. Now talk!"

A tired voice quietly asked "must he discuss this with young children? Haven't you already corrupted them with you just being you Sirius?"

"Ah Remus, you were always such a spoil sport! If they want to know, I have no problem telling them. Now if you have a problem, then why don't you just spit it out and spot dancing around like a little girl," said an exasperated Sirius as he waved his arms around his head while bouncing up and down in his armchair.

"Did you just call me a girl?" All tiredness had left his voice and Remus sat upright with a feral look in his eyes. All the noise in the room seemed to evaporate into thin air. The only sound that could be heard was that of the fire crackling in the grate, but even that seemed to go from being a merry sound to sounding slightly devious.

"Uh, maybe, hey Remus how's that Furry Little Problem been on your health lately, because you look a little um, well, _ill, _uh right now. You might want to lie down, and rest, don't you think so Harry? Sirius had caught Remus' look and had quickly tried to draw attention away from himself. It didn't work.

"No Sirius, Remus looks fine to me. What do you think Ron?"

"Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about Sirius."

While this was happening Sybil had pulled out her orb and was trying to tell the outcome for the scrimmage between the group, so far, she said that it would end in bloodshed, and Sirius would attack Remus, but miss him and cut Harry's head off with a sword. Severus was happy with the prospect of Potter being dead. Then he wouldn't have to deal with his abysmal potions making. In fact, this made him so happy, that he cracked a smile, which brought everything to a halt as soon as everyone saw it.

The first was Ron, "oh my God! The apocalypse has happened! The world is going to end! NO! I'm going to die a virgin!"

"Ron, the apocalypse hasn't occurred, Professor Snape just smiled. On another note, I don't care if you die a virgin; I just don't need you to scream it."

"Well Ron, I think you were just '_DENIED!'_"

Everyone on the room just rolled their eyes, as they were getting used to hearing Harry's favorite phrase.

"Shut up Harry!" Was the only thing they said.

"So now I will tell you about The Lawre_mnceemm_-"

Dramatically Remus put his hand over Sirius' mouth while exclaiming "They don't need to hear this Sirius!"

After pulling Remus' hand off his' mouth, Sirius continued, "it was the end of October of third year. Your parents had just started being civil to each other Harry, and I was left all alone-"

"I was there too, you idiot. Cut the dramatics or I'm telling the story."

"Fine Remus have it your way… So it was October and I had just broken up with my- err- girlfriend-

"Shag buddy" inserted Severus,

"Shut up Snape, when I went into charms…

_**Charms Classroom**_

_**"… Right, so then I said to her, 'I think that we should keep our options open,' and then she started crying all over me! I didn't know what do to! You know how I am with tears mate! But, yeah, it's over between us." **_

_**"How could you do that to her Sirius? You two were so good together!"**_

_**"Lily, Sirius doesn't keep a girl for more than three weeks, he was with Maggie all summer long and through September!"**_

_**"But James, women are not **__**possessions! We can't just be used and then thrown away like, like, a toy! If you think like that **__**than you and I are going to have a HUGE problem! Just because I started **__**talki-**__**"**_

_**Lily's tirade was broken by a calm voice from behind her, "Lily, I think you are forgetting that this is **__**Sirius **__**we are talking about here, not James, who I might add, has been after you since he was eleven. **__**I don't think that you will be able to get rid of him when you are through **__**being nice to him**__**. Sirius on the other hand, well he's afraid of co**__**mmitment, except when it comes to sports, and eating, and sleeping, and his goal to have sex with **__**ninety-five percent of the female population of Hogwarts**__** before he graduates**____**"**_

___**"Only ninety-five percent, why not one hundred percent of the population; or is that so you don't overlap in your girlfriends?**__** And we aren't **__**together**__** I'm just humoring him!**__**"**_

___**"For one, at least ninety-five percent because James would have killed Sirius if he had even thought about asking you out, much less than **__**that**__**. And two, we have all swapped girlfriends once or twice, for you information!**__** Oh and for a third thing, you and James-**__**"**_

___**"Shut up Remus!"**_

___**"I didn't need to know that Remus.**__** Thank you for that James. **__**"**_

___**"Hey, is it just me or is that**__** girl over their staring at me? Oh look there she is again… wait, there two of them! Oh no, I'm seeing double!"**_

___**"That is Amelia, and her **__**twin **____**sister**__** Isabella." **_

_____**"**__**Twins**__** in **__**Hufflepuff**__**, when did that happen?"**_

_____**"Three years ago when we were sorted you dolt."**_

_____**"**__**Well**__**, I was busy and I wasn't paying attention to the other people! What should I do?"**_

_____**"Oh my God! Did he just stutter? He's turning into Peter!"**_

_____**"Hey! James!"**_

_____**"Oh sorry dude. Wave you moron!"**_

"I waved and they waved back and giggled. And so started the year and a half of entertainment with the Lawrence twins."

"All that drama and you aren't even going to tell us anything good?!"

"Well Harry, I' m sure you can use your imagination to come up with something." Chortled Sirius.

"I'm surprised that you didn't add anything about your huge conquest Black, it's almost responsible of you."

"Well Snape, I don't need to keep them up at night do I? And it's far from responsible, I just don't need Remus going all werewolf on my ass now do I?"

"Hey!"

"It's true!"

"I think it's time for bed."

"Hermione you not my mother, I don't' need to do what you say!"

"I'll walk you up there."

"Done."

With that Ron picked Hermione up and practically ran up the stairs to his dormitory.

"Well, it looks like I'm not going to my room for hours.

With that, they sat there and speculated what Hermione's ulterior motive for getting Ron to his room was for.

* * *

___Author's Note:_

___It been almost two year since I last updated, I don't even know if I want to continue writing this story anymore. I didn't really start with a plot so I have had to come up with one as I go and so that makes writing really difficult for me. Besides that, review and tell me what you think of the new chapter._

___Sorry for the inexcusable wait,_

___OMJessie_


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